The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
