I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I am never drinking with the goths again.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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