What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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