I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
