did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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