Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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