bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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