Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
