She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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