This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
