after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
