How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
