Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
