We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
