Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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