so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
