is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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