I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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