their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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