Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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