Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
