I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
