Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
