Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
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