member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize