Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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