i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
