Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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