There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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