I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
