there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
