as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
