just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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