I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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