P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
