Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
