So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
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