I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
