You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize