the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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