i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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