Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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