plz talk dirty to me
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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