I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
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