Where did you get a picture of my penis
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
