he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You ruined the universe
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
