I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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