Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
