It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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