They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
His nipple licking is glorious
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