you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
