Dual....:-)
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
