I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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