What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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