Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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