Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Randomize
