I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My ass is underappreciated
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
