I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
