My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
