If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
